Oink （めす ぶた）

He Says:
mesu buta　（めす　ぶた） = sow,female pig
This is one of dirtiest words you'll know.
mesu is female, buta is a pig.
So mesu buta is so fat or ugly girl,or a loose girl etc.
If you say this word to girls,immediately our relationship is over..
By the way, we don't say osu buta(=male pig).
But we will show you many dirty words to men little by little later.

She Says:
Seems like being called a pig is a universal insult. Go figure.
I wish we would get to the insults for men. I mean real insults, not just baka. I think He's afraid to let me know cuz I have an uncanny ability to remember all the bad words.

The next word is...オナニー。

Is this really an insult? （こもち ししゃも）

He Says:
komoti sishamo　（こもち　ししゃも） is kind of a funny word.
Originally,kimoti means pregnant, sishamo is a smelt,one of fish.
So a pregnant smelt has so big stomach.
But we japanese use the word for the calf of people.
Some people have so big calves because they exercise much or something.
Then some of Jp say,"they have komoti sishamo in their calves!"
Sometimes I can see people whose calves look like pregnant smelt.
They look they have 2 pregnant smelts in their calves.
But this word is irony,or bad word, so if you say it to jp girls,you know what happens then!?

She Says:
This doesn't translate so well. I don't get it, even after extensive explanation from Him. It just doesn't seem funny or insulting or anything like that to me. I mean, we're not talking about cankles or anything like that...just muscular calves.
I suppose it plays into the idea that women aren't supposed to be muscular at all? But any, I don't really get it.

The next word is...めす　ぶた。

Only Authentic Allowed （ばったもん）

He Says:
batta mon （ばったもん）= fake stuff
Originally a batta means a grasshopper.
Like a grasshopper jumps easily place to place, many fake stuff are made imitated as real things.
It's illegal,but actually many people make many fake stuff. Then we,customer can say,this is batta mon!
For example,we can buy many things in a street stall in Japan. But many of them,like watches,bags are batta mon. But the looks are almost the same of real goods.
If a real brand bag costs $1000,we can buy a batta mon's same looks bag
with $100~.
So if you come to Japan,you would be able to see many batta mon goods
especially at street stalls.
They are so cheap, but not real mostly!
By the way, the staff in street stalls in Japan are mostly not a japanese,but white or Asian.

She Says:
Before I met him, I used to live in an apartment with two Japanese guy roommates. One of them had this pretty good scam running. Since he could read English pretty well, he'd buy brand name goods on eBay and then sell them on Yahoo! Japan auctions (Japanese people prefer to use Yahoo! auctions because it's in Japanese.).
Anyway, one day I came home and he had this huge box sitting in the living room. I was like "Whoa dude! This is huge! What'd you get?"
He said "Nothing. The box was empty."
What the hell right...who sends a huge empty box overseas? I pressed him further and learned that he had bought a lot of brand name bags on eBay, but they turned out to be fake. So, apparently, because they were fake, THEY WERE CONFISCATED BY CUSTOMS! What?!?! How odd.
I got no problem with replica goods. I think it's stupid to pay $1000 for a bag.

The next word is...こもち　ししゃも。

I Smell Bacon ポリ コウ

He Says:
polikou　（ポリ　コウ）=policemen,cops
The word of Polikou is kind of insult to police. Po of Polikou comes from Police.
Actually Police is keisatsu in JP. Policemen (officer) is keisatsu-kan or omawari-san.
But the words are just normal,kind of polite.Then,some of Japanese, especially JP men use polikou.
Some people use like "kuso(fucking) polikou!" after they get the speed violation or something like that.
But please do not say polikou to policemen. Because the word has insult in it.
(But now many polikou are so chicken, so they would ask their boss what to do when they if you call them polikou instead just arresting you.)

She Says:
This seems comparable to calling a police man a "pig" in English. Not exactly a bad word, but still not very nice.

The next word is...ばったもん。