Button Nose

He Says:
dango bana=button nose
I was thinking which word is good to write for this blog,then I thought of dango bana. Because the word is regarded as a dirty word to insult especially to girls.
But you know, my wife who is an American pointed out "button nose is a good word".
I couldn't understand why the word is good.
It's a kind of cultual difference,interesting to know.
Because in Japan,sooo many people wish for a big nose.
So especially many jp girls get a nose job for bigger nose.Some of them have a complex about their nose.
So if you say dango bana to people in Japan, so many jp people would be hurt.And they would be happy if you say "you have a big nose".
Strange huh?

She Says:
He wrote this a few weeks ago (His Mother has been visiting, so we haven't had much time for updates). And when I said that people do want a button nose, it's true...
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that the word "button nose" means slightly different things. To us, a button nose is a nose that's cute and small. But in Japan, it means more flat. As He said, Japanese people tend to compliment a "big nose", but the way they say it, it means a "tall nose", or in other words, a nose that sticks out of your face.

Skanky Ho （どろぼう ねこ）

He Says:
dorobou neko　（どろぼう　ねこ）=theving whore
dorobou is a thief. neko is a cat.
This word is mostly used by girls.
The situation they would use is that there is one couple, another girl loved the boyfriend, and he cheats.
Then the ex-girlfriend would say to the new girlfriend, "dorobou neko!!".
Originally dorobou neko was used by a fish store. But recently we don't see many fish stores,we use the word mostly for love affair stuff or something.
So if you get or steal someone's treasure or something against the person's will,you would be insulted with the word when you are in Japan.

She Says:
This one was a little hard to come up with a good word. I'm not sure that we would usually use the word "thief" in this situation. Usually we might say "skanky ho" or "scheming bitch". But I dunno. What do you think?

Old Fart （くそったれ じじ）

He Says:
kusottare jijii　（くそったれ　じじ）=you shitting old goat!
jijii means old guy like more than 70years old. and kusottare is fucking shit(see the one Dec.14 blog). So you can say this word to old men, but can say to young men. That'll be more powerful insult.
And that'll be so nice if a female uses the word to men.
You can say it to your fucking shit boss or someone.
I bet many japanese don't expect you non-jp people can use this word,
so they would be so surprised when you say this word.
jijii is old man,and old lady is babaa.
So kusottare babaa is also cool to say to them!

She Says:
Mmmmm....I don't have anything to add about this one.

Oh Shit! （やべ）

He Says:
yabe　（やべ）=oh shit!, in big trouble
Many japanese people use yabe in many situations. When we get up late, we say "yabe!!", when we send email to a wrong person, we say "yabe!!".
Yabai is the original word for that, yabe is more casual way.
And you can say yaba too. All are the same meaning.
Hiro in the TV show of Hero used to say yabai many times when he gets in big trouble(I think he uses the word even though he didn't get in big trouble).
Like Hiro,many japanese use yabai!(or yabe,yaba) when it's not a big trouble.
That's ok. It's kind of common in Japan.
You can say,"yabe!! I farted!" or something.

She Says:
It's fun to make a big deal out of something. But to be honest, if you use it in the exaggerating way, Japanese people will probably laugh at you because they think that you're using the language wrong. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though.
See, in America if somebody makes fun of your English and they're laughing at you, it's a bit malicious and they think you're stupid. We expect foreigners to speak perfect English, with no accent.
Japanese people, on the other hand, tend to think that Japanese is the hardest language that ever existed and it would be completely impossible for a foreigner to ever learn to speak properly. So when they laugh at you, it's because it's just so cute that you're trying and make such a silly little mistake.

The next word is...（くそったれ　じじ）。

Hooray for Sluts! （やりまん）

He Says:
yariman　（やりまん）=slut
yariman is dirtier word than sirigaru we introduced last time.
As you know,sirigatu means slut,the original meaning is the girls who turn their butts to men for sex(siri=butt,garu=light).
But this time the word of yariman shows the stuff more obviously.
"Yari" means having sex,"man" means a pussy.So it's more direct,and dirtier.

She Says:
This is an interesting one because, in my experience, you can masculinize it and guys will be surprised and insulted if you call them that.
As He mentioned, the "man" (pronounced "mahn") in "yariman" comes from "manko" which means pussy. The word for dick is "chinko". So you can create the word "yarichin", which would mean male-slut. If you're a girl, try calling a guy who's trying to pick you up this and watch his face. So funny!

The next word is...おめこ。

A Light Butt（しりがる）

He Says:
sirigaru　（しりがる）=slut
Usually slut means for women, so Japanese say sirigaru onna(girl) too.
You can use both sirigaru and sirigaru onna.
Both are the same.
The original meaning of sirigaru is light butt(siri=butt,garu=light).
So the word was made by the girls who can turn their butts to men easily for sex.

She Says:
This made me giggle when I saw it because I thought that they were using "garu" as "girl" which is a common thing to do. So I thought it was "butt-girl". Unfortunately it's not...but that might be a way to help you remember the word!

The next word is...やりまん。

The Worst Japanese Word You Can Say （くそったれ）

He Says:
kusottare　（くそったれ）=fucking shit,mother fucker
kusottare is my favorite one. It's very easy to say for me! The original meaning is a shitter in Japanese.
When we feel so angry, we say fucking shit or something. At the same time, Japanese say kusottare.
It's a little interesting both languages has shit in each word.
It'll be more japaneselike accent if you accent in "u" of kusottare!

She Says:
This is by far considered to be the "worst" word that there is in Japanese. It literally means "person who cannot stop the shit from running out of their ass". One wonders if you would use it for someone using diet products like Alli. But I digress...
This word actually has a special meaning for me. Before I met Him, I was living near Tokyo. I had a good friend who I'd known since high school. As we've mentioned before, Tokyo people tend to be a bit more polite and than others in Japan. So while I would always pressure my friend to teach me the dirty words, he never would. He didn't want me messing with "the beautiful language".
Anyway, one night I was out with my girlfriends and this dude picked me up. Well, actually, I suppose his friend picked me up for him. See, the guy didn't speak ANY English, but his friend did. So the guy would talk to his friend in Japanese and the friend would translate. I'm a sucker for any guy that calls me beautiful so...
I decided to go out with him a second time. This time the friend wasn't there, but I was feeling ready to try my Japanese. It completely sucked at the time, but I would always try to ganbatte (do my best). So we're hanging out, having a good time with another friend and his girlfriend (neither of whom spoke English), when all of a sudden, the guy I'm with starts beating the other woman up! What the fuck right? I'm not talking anything playful. He was full-on punching her.
I of course stormed out, trying to get the girl to come with me...but I simply couldn't convey my meaning. I mean, can you imagine how frustrating it was that the worst thing I could call this guy was baka (or "fool")?
When I told this to my Tokyo friend, he finally taught me kusottare. Heh.

The next word is...しりがる。

Dammit! And a Brief Discussion of Gendered Words （ちきしょう）

He Says:
chikishou　（ちきしょう）=damn it,shit
We use damn it,shit or shoot or something when we get in trouble. It's chikishou in Japanese. Japanese use it in many situations, but in business,it's prohibited to use it because they use polite words,which is keigo. Chikishou is a casual dirty word.
And chikushou is also the same.
Both are tend to used by men.

She Says:
He brings up a good point with the gendered words. I think that "dirty words" in any language tend to be spoken by men only since women wouldn't want to be seen dirtying themselves.
But gendered styles of speaking are quite interesting.
See, a lot of foreign guys learn Japanese from their Japanese girlfriends. But this means that they're learning a sort of feminized Japanese. They'll use words that only women would use. Often, Japanese people might be laughing at them behind their backs (or sometimes right in their face).
Likewise, I might come off as brash or rude when I speak Japanese because I imitate my husband's male-version Japanese.
If you want to more accurately speak the language, then you should learn from someone who's the same gender as you are.

The next word is...くそったれ。

Arguing with Henry Longfellow （オナニー）

He Says:
onani　（オナニー）=masturbation

They say the origin of onani(e) is that Onan from the Bible had a sex with his brother's wife,then he spit his sperm into the ground from Heaven.
So actually Onani isn't a real japanese,but they use this word instead of masturbation.
You know,many japanese people are shy,they tend to think they shouldn't say the talking about onani or sex even between friends.
So I bet they would react with much surprise than American would do.

Here is the link of my favorite Japanese show.
It's called soramimi hour.The show features English songs that Japanese can hear them as japanese word by mistake.So the English songs has meanings as they are,
but japanese could hear as so meaningless,funny,stupid japanese words.
In the link,the song goes,"You give me all I need~".
But in Japanese,they could hear as "yu ki mi onani~".
Yu ki mi is snow-scene viewing.
Onani is masturbation you know.
So japanese can hear as if the singer is singing "masturbation in snow-scene viewing~".

She Says:
Cool. Masturbating.
I'm not so sure that He's telling the truth about not talking about sex and masturbation between friends. I mean, in another show, they're waking this guy up and have a whole camera crew there and everything. Then they notice that there are all these tissues wadded up by the side of the bed. So they start teasing him about what it is and he full on admits it.
I think in some ways Japanese people might be more open about sex than Americans.
Anyway, here's the video. As it's about mistakenly interpreting the words to a song as being about masturbation, it's not work-safe or child friendly.



The next word is...ほうけい。

Oink （めす ぶた）

He Says:
mesu buta　（めす　ぶた） = sow,female pig
This is one of dirtiest words you'll know.
mesu is female, buta is a pig.
So mesu buta is so fat or ugly girl,or a loose girl etc.
If you say this word to girls,immediately our relationship is over..
By the way, we don't say osu buta(=male pig).
But we will show you many dirty words to men little by little later.

She Says:
Seems like being called a pig is a universal insult. Go figure.
I wish we would get to the insults for men. I mean real insults, not just baka. I think He's afraid to let me know cuz I have an uncanny ability to remember all the bad words.

The next word is...オナニー。

Is this really an insult? （こもち ししゃも）

He Says:
komoti sishamo　（こもち　ししゃも） is kind of a funny word.
Originally,kimoti means pregnant, sishamo is a smelt,one of fish.
So a pregnant smelt has so big stomach.
But we japanese use the word for the calf of people.
Some people have so big calves because they exercise much or something.
Then some of Jp say,"they have komoti sishamo in their calves!"
Sometimes I can see people whose calves look like pregnant smelt.
They look they have 2 pregnant smelts in their calves.
But this word is irony,or bad word, so if you say it to jp girls,you know what happens then!?

She Says:
This doesn't translate so well. I don't get it, even after extensive explanation from Him. It just doesn't seem funny or insulting or anything like that to me. I mean, we're not talking about cankles or anything like that...just muscular calves.
I suppose it plays into the idea that women aren't supposed to be muscular at all? But any, I don't really get it.

The next word is...めす　ぶた。

Only Authentic Allowed （ばったもん）

He Says:
batta mon （ばったもん）= fake stuff
Originally a batta means a grasshopper.
Like a grasshopper jumps easily place to place, many fake stuff are made imitated as real things.
It's illegal,but actually many people make many fake stuff. Then we,customer can say,this is batta mon!
For example,we can buy many things in a street stall in Japan. But many of them,like watches,bags are batta mon. But the looks are almost the same of real goods.
If a real brand bag costs $1000,we can buy a batta mon's same looks bag
with $100~.
So if you come to Japan,you would be able to see many batta mon goods
especially at street stalls.
They are so cheap, but not real mostly!
By the way, the staff in street stalls in Japan are mostly not a japanese,but white or Asian.

She Says:
Before I met him, I used to live in an apartment with two Japanese guy roommates. One of them had this pretty good scam running. Since he could read English pretty well, he'd buy brand name goods on eBay and then sell them on Yahoo! Japan auctions (Japanese people prefer to use Yahoo! auctions because it's in Japanese.).
Anyway, one day I came home and he had this huge box sitting in the living room. I was like "Whoa dude! This is huge! What'd you get?"
He said "Nothing. The box was empty."
What the hell right...who sends a huge empty box overseas? I pressed him further and learned that he had bought a lot of brand name bags on eBay, but they turned out to be fake. So, apparently, because they were fake, THEY WERE CONFISCATED BY CUSTOMS! What?!?! How odd.
I got no problem with replica goods. I think it's stupid to pay $1000 for a bag.

The next word is...こもち　ししゃも。

I Smell Bacon ポリ コウ

He Says:
polikou　（ポリ　コウ）=policemen,cops
The word of Polikou is kind of insult to police. Po of Polikou comes from Police.
Actually Police is keisatsu in JP. Policemen (officer) is keisatsu-kan or omawari-san.
But the words are just normal,kind of polite.Then,some of Japanese, especially JP men use polikou.
Some people use like "kuso(fucking) polikou!" after they get the speed violation or something like that.
But please do not say polikou to policemen. Because the word has insult in it.
(But now many polikou are so chicken, so they would ask their boss what to do when they if you call them polikou instead just arresting you.)

She Says:
This seems comparable to calling a police man a "pig" in English. Not exactly a bad word, but still not very nice.

The next word is...ばったもん。

Flat as a board （ぺちゃぱい）

He Says:
pecha pai (pronounced "pie") （ぺちゃぱい）=flat chested
What kind of pie do you imagine "pecha pie"?
New delicous pie?No!umm,but sometimes yes.
Pecha pie is flat boob.
So like a men breast, girls who have flat boob, we would call that pecha pie.
It's a little bit hard to explain why we say so. I think a pie is usually big because it has many cream or fruits inside. But when the pie is crushed or fallen, it can be flat. Pecha is an onomatopoeia word--the sound something makes when being crushed or made flat. So pecha pie is like no volume pie, it's a flat boob.
Many American guys seem to like Japanese girls. But Jp girls have usually pecha pie. It's hard to find a big boobed Jp girl.because the average of jp girls bust is said 82cm (about 32 inches).

She Says:
His description sums it up.
Japanese uses a lot of onomatopoeia words which are incredibly difficult for foreigners to master. You'd think that you'd just make the sound that something makes...but you actually have to know how Japanese people will say it. For example, to American ears the onomatopoeia words "kachung" and "darung" might pretty much sound the same. But to a Japanese person, they are totally different.
I'd always use the wrong onomatopoeia word and have people stare at me like I'm crazy.

The next word is...ポリコウ。

Hey Sexy Mama! （ちゃん ね）

He Says:
chan ne　（ちゃん　ね） = pretty girl.
Usually nechan is girl. It's a normal word. But if the word "nechan" gets reverse,it turns to have a little bit sexy. So jp men sometimes say chan ne~ to sexy girls or hookers instead of simply nechan. But we don't say chan ni~ to boys(nichan is boys or brother).

She Says:
Something you might hear walking down the street, the way that guys in English might call "Hey sexy mama" or whatever. If you're a foreign girl in Japan, guys might be more apt to say this loudly in front of you, thinking that you won't understand. So remember it and scare the shit out of them when you comment back. Really. It's fun.

The next word is...ぺちゃぱい。

Stop It With the Fools Already （うんぽんたん）

He Says:
unpontan （うんぽんたん）=fool
Fool usually means aho or baka in Japanese,but unpontan too.This word unpontan is kind of soft word to say fool,we use it when we are not so angry with the people,or especially to kids,women who would be so hurt if we say aho or baka.
And this word is so old,they say it's made more than 300 years ago,which was Edo era in Japan.
Japanese use aho or baka many times in daily life,don't use unpontan even though it's the same meaning.
So they would think cool if you can use this old word instead of aho or baka!

She Says:
Good Lord, do we really need another word for fool? It amazes me how almost all insults in Japanese get translated as "fool", when it's just not so common in America. Stronger words in Japanese tend to sound ridiculous when you actually translate them (See hetare.).
Anyway, He says that because of the obscurity, you'll end up looking cool. I'm not so convinced of this. I mean, I think that many English speakers have at times encountered a foreigner who uses out-of-date slang. It doesn't make them cool. We're more likely to laugh AT them. Maybe Japanese people are different though...

Happy Trails to You....（ギャランドゥ）

He Says:
gallandoo　（ギャランドゥ）=happytrail
There is no word for happytrail in Japanese. But among young japanese, sometimes they like to use gallandoo as happytrail.
Originally,the word gallando was the title of a song,"Gallando". When the composer made the song,he just muttered the word to make the melody.
Then the meaningless word gallando became the song title.
But we could see the japanese singer had so much happytrail when he was singing.
Since then many people have used the word just as a happytrail.
So this word is a slang, we can't see it in a japanese dictionary.
If you use the word to those who have happy trail, japanese people will laugh so much.

She Says:
This is so weird I don't even have any comments.

The next word is...はげ。

Like an Old Man Collecting Barbie （きもい）

He Says:
kimoi　（きもい）=disgusting
Young japanese love to use this word to disgusting people or things.
Originally kimoi was got shorted of KImochiwaruI(=disgusting).
Young japanese love to get shorter a word,
like kimutaku=KIMUra TAKUya(japanese famous celebrity name),
pasokon=PErsonal COMputer,
kombini=CONVENIence store.
So young japanese would use kimoi, like when a old guy collects so many barbie dolls or something.
Variations:
Kimo!
Kimo~!
Kimoi!
Kimochi warui!
(all with a frown face,like ugh,blech face)

She Says:
I think that a proper breakdown of how the meaning of the word will help you get a better sense of when you should use it. Kimochii means "feeling" and warui means "bad". So literally this means "bad feeling" and it's generally used when something sort of skeeves you out on the inside...like a toenail that's about to fall off.

The next word is...へたれ。

Most Awesome Japanese Use of a Foreign Word （バーコード）

He Says:
bar code/baa koodo　（バーコード）=thin hair like a bar code

Many 50' or 60's years old people have a thin hair like a bar code.
Then subordinates use the word to complain like that stupid bar code boss!
Usually bar code old people's head is a bald head,and looks oily,you know.
So especially many young japanese girls hate bar code guys' looks.
But in a TV show,a japanese girl had to lick a old guy's bar code head.
Then she cried so much,was held down not to escape,and finally,
her face touched the oily bar code head fully.
It was so ugly moment..
That'll be funny if we scan the bar code head,a casher says 99cents or something!

She Says:
Hilarious. This is what we'd call a comb-over. But bar code is such a funny word for it.
There are many foreign words than get incorporated into the Japanese vocabulary and Japan-ized. That's why you wouldn't really pronounce the "r" in bar when you said this.
Usually though, the word just means what it means. This is one of the first words that I came in contact with that had an alternate meaning. And it's a great one!

The next word will be...まめちん。

Instant Coolness in Japanese （なんで やねん）

He Says:
nande yanen!　（なんで　やねん）=Why!
Originally, naze?= why?.
nande yanen is Osakan one, so it's a dirtier or more curt way. But many japanese comedians are from Osaka, and they love to use nande yanen,so it sounds fun for many people.
For example,when you buy a few foods in a grocery store, if the casher says total is "$1 million", you can say nande yanen!.
That sounds funny, because jp comedians use the word for punchline of a joke.
Then many people laugh.
You can definitely get laugh in japan when you say this word, but softly please.If you say it loudly,they feel you are just so angry.
Variations:
dirtiest-nande jya!
dirtier-nande yanen!
normal-nande?
polite-naze? or dousite?

She Says:
I think that this is an example of Japanese humor not translating into English well. For an American, the funny part about the example He used would be that the total was "$1 million" for just a few things. However, in Japan, the funny part is that the comedian responds to this by saying "Why??" I don't why. Or should I say "Nande yanen?"
The one thing I do know is that using this word as a foreigner will make you seem "in the know" and will make Japanese people laugh.
This word is usually said in a moment of incredulousness and in a somewhat whiney voice.

The next word is...バーコード。