Old Fart （くそったれ じじ）

He Says:
kusottare jijii　（くそったれ　じじ）=you shitting old goat!
jijii means old guy like more than 70years old. and kusottare is fucking shit(see the one Dec.14 blog). So you can say this word to old men, but can say to young men. That'll be more powerful insult.
And that'll be so nice if a female uses the word to men.
You can say it to your fucking shit boss or someone.
I bet many japanese don't expect you non-jp people can use this word,
so they would be so surprised when you say this word.
jijii is old man,and old lady is babaa.
So kusottare babaa is also cool to say to them!

She Says:
Mmmmm....I don't have anything to add about this one.

Oh Shit! （やべ）

He Says:
yabe　（やべ）=oh shit!, in big trouble
Many japanese people use yabe in many situations. When we get up late, we say "yabe!!", when we send email to a wrong person, we say "yabe!!".
Yabai is the original word for that, yabe is more casual way.
And you can say yaba too. All are the same meaning.
Hiro in the TV show of Hero used to say yabai many times when he gets in big trouble(I think he uses the word even though he didn't get in big trouble).
Like Hiro,many japanese use yabai!(or yabe,yaba) when it's not a big trouble.
That's ok. It's kind of common in Japan.
You can say,"yabe!! I farted!" or something.

She Says:
It's fun to make a big deal out of something. But to be honest, if you use it in the exaggerating way, Japanese people will probably laugh at you because they think that you're using the language wrong. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though.
See, in America if somebody makes fun of your English and they're laughing at you, it's a bit malicious and they think you're stupid. We expect foreigners to speak perfect English, with no accent.
Japanese people, on the other hand, tend to think that Japanese is the hardest language that ever existed and it would be completely impossible for a foreigner to ever learn to speak properly. So when they laugh at you, it's because it's just so cute that you're trying and make such a silly little mistake.

The next word is...（くそったれ　じじ）。

Meow （おめこ）

He Says:
omeko　（おめこ）=pussy
Japanese girls hardly say the word of omeko,nor in private. They feel embarrassed to say the word.
So in many japanese porn video, the jp pornstar guy try to make the girl say "omeko" or something. Then the girl hesitates so much to say the word.
That's the one of great ecstasy for jp guys. Can you understand their ecstasy taste?
Many pervert jp guys love to see or feel what girls don't want to do.
So they order their girl or hooker to say "insert yours to my omeko",or
"give your cum on my face".
They want to hear such words from girls who don't want to say.

She Says:
If you're a guy, knowing this word probably isn't gonna get you any brownie points. However, it's very good to know if you're a girl who's into Japanese guys. ;-)

The next word is...やべ。

Hooray for Sluts! （やりまん）

He Says:
yariman　（やりまん）=slut
yariman is dirtier word than sirigaru we introduced last time.
As you know,sirigatu means slut,the original meaning is the girls who turn their butts to men for sex(siri=butt,garu=light).
But this time the word of yariman shows the stuff more obviously.
"Yari" means having sex,"man" means a pussy.So it's more direct,and dirtier.

She Says:
This is an interesting one because, in my experience, you can masculinize it and guys will be surprised and insulted if you call them that.
As He mentioned, the "man" (pronounced "mahn") in "yariman" comes from "manko" which means pussy. The word for dick is "chinko". So you can create the word "yarichin", which would mean male-slut. If you're a girl, try calling a guy who's trying to pick you up this and watch his face. So funny!

The next word is...おめこ。

A Light Butt（しりがる）

He Says:
sirigaru　（しりがる）=slut
Usually slut means for women, so Japanese say sirigaru onna(girl) too.
You can use both sirigaru and sirigaru onna.
Both are the same.
The original meaning of sirigaru is light butt(siri=butt,garu=light).
So the word was made by the girls who can turn their butts to men easily for sex.

She Says:
This made me giggle when I saw it because I thought that they were using "garu" as "girl" which is a common thing to do. So I thought it was "butt-girl". Unfortunately it's not...but that might be a way to help you remember the word!

The next word is...やりまん。

The Worst Japanese Word You Can Say （くそったれ）

He Says:
kusottare　（くそったれ）=fucking shit,mother fucker
kusottare is my favorite one. It's very easy to say for me! The original meaning is a shitter in Japanese.
When we feel so angry, we say fucking shit or something. At the same time, Japanese say kusottare.
It's a little interesting both languages has shit in each word.
It'll be more japaneselike accent if you accent in "u" of kusottare!

She Says:
This is by far considered to be the "worst" word that there is in Japanese. It literally means "person who cannot stop the shit from running out of their ass". One wonders if you would use it for someone using diet products like Alli. But I digress...
This word actually has a special meaning for me. Before I met Him, I was living near Tokyo. I had a good friend who I'd known since high school. As we've mentioned before, Tokyo people tend to be a bit more polite and than others in Japan. So while I would always pressure my friend to teach me the dirty words, he never would. He didn't want me messing with "the beautiful language".
Anyway, one night I was out with my girlfriends and this dude picked me up. Well, actually, I suppose his friend picked me up for him. See, the guy didn't speak ANY English, but his friend did. So the guy would talk to his friend in Japanese and the friend would translate. I'm a sucker for any guy that calls me beautiful so...
I decided to go out with him a second time. This time the friend wasn't there, but I was feeling ready to try my Japanese. It completely sucked at the time, but I would always try to ganbatte (do my best). So we're hanging out, having a good time with another friend and his girlfriend (neither of whom spoke English), when all of a sudden, the guy I'm with starts beating the other woman up! What the fuck right? I'm not talking anything playful. He was full-on punching her.
I of course stormed out, trying to get the girl to come with me...but I simply couldn't convey my meaning. I mean, can you imagine how frustrating it was that the worst thing I could call this guy was baka (or "fool")?
When I told this to my Tokyo friend, he finally taught me kusottare. Heh.

The next word is...しりがる。

Dammit! And a Brief Discussion of Gendered Words （ちきしょう）

He Says:
chikishou　（ちきしょう）=damn it,shit
We use damn it,shit or shoot or something when we get in trouble. It's chikishou in Japanese. Japanese use it in many situations, but in business,it's prohibited to use it because they use polite words,which is keigo. Chikishou is a casual dirty word.
And chikushou is also the same.
Both are tend to used by men.

She Says:
He brings up a good point with the gendered words. I think that "dirty words" in any language tend to be spoken by men only since women wouldn't want to be seen dirtying themselves.
But gendered styles of speaking are quite interesting.
See, a lot of foreign guys learn Japanese from their Japanese girlfriends. But this means that they're learning a sort of feminized Japanese. They'll use words that only women would use. Often, Japanese people might be laughing at them behind their backs (or sometimes right in their face).
Likewise, I might come off as brash or rude when I speak Japanese because I imitate my husband's male-version Japanese.
If you want to more accurately speak the language, then you should learn from someone who's the same gender as you are.

The next word is...くそったれ。

That Useless Flap of Skin （ほうけい）

He Says:
houkei　（ほうけい）=foreskin
If you are a boy, do you have foreskin?
Today's dirty word is foreskin.
I know many American boys cut off their foreskin, but Japanese do not.
Japanese don't have such custom.
So when we japanese go to a hot spring(=onsen.so many jp love to go hot springs), then we men can see, "oh he has a foreskin,oh that guy too!".
I believe 80~90% jp have foreskin.

By the way,I show you all my favorite funny video about foreskin.
As I told you last time,the video is from soramimi hour.
The original song,English singer sings in English.
But for Japanese,they can hear it as so funny japanese word accidentaly.
In the video,the original lyric goes "fucking~,fucking~,fucking hostile~!!"
But in Japanese they can hear as if "houkei~,houkei~,houkei no hito~~!!".
It means "foreskin~,foreskin~,this guy is foreskin~!".
I hope you can hear it in Japanese,not English word.


She Says:
I don't really notice whether guys have foreskin or not.

Arguing with Henry Longfellow （オナニー）

He Says:
onani　（オナニー）=masturbation

They say the origin of onani(e) is that Onan from the Bible had a sex with his brother's wife,then he spit his sperm into the ground from Heaven.
So actually Onani isn't a real japanese,but they use this word instead of masturbation.
You know,many japanese people are shy,they tend to think they shouldn't say the talking about onani or sex even between friends.
So I bet they would react with much surprise than American would do.

Here is the link of my favorite Japanese show.
It's called soramimi hour.The show features English songs that Japanese can hear them as japanese word by mistake.So the English songs has meanings as they are,
but japanese could hear as so meaningless,funny,stupid japanese words.
In the link,the song goes,"You give me all I need~".
But in Japanese,they could hear as "yu ki mi onani~".
Yu ki mi is snow-scene viewing.
Onani is masturbation you know.
So japanese can hear as if the singer is singing "masturbation in snow-scene viewing~".

She Says:
Cool. Masturbating.
I'm not so sure that He's telling the truth about not talking about sex and masturbation between friends. I mean, in another show, they're waking this guy up and have a whole camera crew there and everything. Then they notice that there are all these tissues wadded up by the side of the bed. So they start teasing him about what it is and he full on admits it.
I think in some ways Japanese people might be more open about sex than Americans.
Anyway, here's the video. As it's about mistakenly interpreting the words to a song as being about masturbation, it's not work-safe or child friendly.



The next word is...ほうけい。

Oink （めす ぶた）

He Says:
mesu buta　（めす　ぶた） = sow,female pig
This is one of dirtiest words you'll know.
mesu is female, buta is a pig.
So mesu buta is so fat or ugly girl,or a loose girl etc.
If you say this word to girls,immediately our relationship is over..
By the way, we don't say osu buta(=male pig).
But we will show you many dirty words to men little by little later.

She Says:
Seems like being called a pig is a universal insult. Go figure.
I wish we would get to the insults for men. I mean real insults, not just baka. I think He's afraid to let me know cuz I have an uncanny ability to remember all the bad words.

The next word is...オナニー。

Is this really an insult? （こもち ししゃも）

He Says:
komoti sishamo　（こもち　ししゃも） is kind of a funny word.
Originally,kimoti means pregnant, sishamo is a smelt,one of fish.
So a pregnant smelt has so big stomach.
But we japanese use the word for the calf of people.
Some people have so big calves because they exercise much or something.
Then some of Jp say,"they have komoti sishamo in their calves!"
Sometimes I can see people whose calves look like pregnant smelt.
They look they have 2 pregnant smelts in their calves.
But this word is irony,or bad word, so if you say it to jp girls,you know what happens then!?

She Says:
This doesn't translate so well. I don't get it, even after extensive explanation from Him. It just doesn't seem funny or insulting or anything like that to me. I mean, we're not talking about cankles or anything like that...just muscular calves.
I suppose it plays into the idea that women aren't supposed to be muscular at all? But any, I don't really get it.

The next word is...めす　ぶた。

Only Authentic Allowed （ばったもん）

He Says:
batta mon （ばったもん）= fake stuff
Originally a batta means a grasshopper.
Like a grasshopper jumps easily place to place, many fake stuff are made imitated as real things.
It's illegal,but actually many people make many fake stuff. Then we,customer can say,this is batta mon!
For example,we can buy many things in a street stall in Japan. But many of them,like watches,bags are batta mon. But the looks are almost the same of real goods.
If a real brand bag costs $1000,we can buy a batta mon's same looks bag
with $100~.
So if you come to Japan,you would be able to see many batta mon goods
especially at street stalls.
They are so cheap, but not real mostly!
By the way, the staff in street stalls in Japan are mostly not a japanese,but white or Asian.

She Says:
Before I met him, I used to live in an apartment with two Japanese guy roommates. One of them had this pretty good scam running. Since he could read English pretty well, he'd buy brand name goods on eBay and then sell them on Yahoo! Japan auctions (Japanese people prefer to use Yahoo! auctions because it's in Japanese.).
Anyway, one day I came home and he had this huge box sitting in the living room. I was like "Whoa dude! This is huge! What'd you get?"
He said "Nothing. The box was empty."
What the hell right...who sends a huge empty box overseas? I pressed him further and learned that he had bought a lot of brand name bags on eBay, but they turned out to be fake. So, apparently, because they were fake, THEY WERE CONFISCATED BY CUSTOMS! What?!?! How odd.
I got no problem with replica goods. I think it's stupid to pay $1000 for a bag.

The next word is...こもち　ししゃも。

I Smell Bacon ポリ コウ

He Says:
polikou　（ポリ　コウ）=policemen,cops
The word of Polikou is kind of insult to police. Po of Polikou comes from Police.
Actually Police is keisatsu in JP. Policemen (officer) is keisatsu-kan or omawari-san.
But the words are just normal,kind of polite.Then,some of Japanese, especially JP men use polikou.
Some people use like "kuso(fucking) polikou!" after they get the speed violation or something like that.
But please do not say polikou to policemen. Because the word has insult in it.
(But now many polikou are so chicken, so they would ask their boss what to do when they if you call them polikou instead just arresting you.)

She Says:
This seems comparable to calling a police man a "pig" in English. Not exactly a bad word, but still not very nice.

The next word is...ばったもん。

Flat as a board （ぺちゃぱい）

He Says:
pecha pai (pronounced "pie") （ぺちゃぱい）=flat chested
What kind of pie do you imagine "pecha pie"?
New delicous pie?No!umm,but sometimes yes.
Pecha pie is flat boob.
So like a men breast, girls who have flat boob, we would call that pecha pie.
It's a little bit hard to explain why we say so. I think a pie is usually big because it has many cream or fruits inside. But when the pie is crushed or fallen, it can be flat. Pecha is an onomatopoeia word--the sound something makes when being crushed or made flat. So pecha pie is like no volume pie, it's a flat boob.
Many American guys seem to like Japanese girls. But Jp girls have usually pecha pie. It's hard to find a big boobed Jp girl.because the average of jp girls bust is said 82cm (about 32 inches).

She Says:
His description sums it up.
Japanese uses a lot of onomatopoeia words which are incredibly difficult for foreigners to master. You'd think that you'd just make the sound that something makes...but you actually have to know how Japanese people will say it. For example, to American ears the onomatopoeia words "kachung" and "darung" might pretty much sound the same. But to a Japanese person, they are totally different.
I'd always use the wrong onomatopoeia word and have people stare at me like I'm crazy.

The next word is...ポリコウ。

Hey Sexy Mama! （ちゃん ね）

He Says:
chan ne　（ちゃん　ね） = pretty girl.
Usually nechan is girl. It's a normal word. But if the word "nechan" gets reverse,it turns to have a little bit sexy. So jp men sometimes say chan ne~ to sexy girls or hookers instead of simply nechan. But we don't say chan ni~ to boys(nichan is boys or brother).

She Says:
Something you might hear walking down the street, the way that guys in English might call "Hey sexy mama" or whatever. If you're a foreign girl in Japan, guys might be more apt to say this loudly in front of you, thinking that you won't understand. So remember it and scare the shit out of them when you comment back. Really. It's fun.

The next word is...ぺちゃぱい。

That Toilet Training Video...

She Says:
I think that most people have probably seen the following toilet training video. The person who translated it did a very good job of getting the nuances right, but I thought I'd note a few things that aren't mentioned that are kind of cute...

• Shimajiro says byebye to "oshiko-kun" and "unchi-kun". "Kun" is a word that you attach to the end of little boys' names. ("Chan" is attached to little girls' names.) Since the word "san" gets translated as Mister/Ms when attached to an adult's name, I believe that an appropriate translation of "kun" would be like saying "Little Mr. ________" (Of course "kun" is also used between people of equal status in which case this translation is inaccurate.) So basically, Shimajiro is saying "Byebye Little Mr. Poo". Which cracks me up.
  
• The other day we talked about the word kimoi as a shortened form of "kimochii warui". At the end of this video, you can hear Shimajiro say, "Pants ga kimochii ii ne." He's literally saying "Underpants have a good feeling." It's translated as being comfortable which is a good translation, but I wanted you to listen for the word you know.
  
• Also note that the Japanese word for underwear is "pants".
  

Stop It With the Fools Already （うんぽんたん）

He Says:
unpontan （うんぽんたん）=fool
Fool usually means aho or baka in Japanese,but unpontan too.This word unpontan is kind of soft word to say fool,we use it when we are not so angry with the people,or especially to kids,women who would be so hurt if we say aho or baka.
And this word is so old,they say it's made more than 300 years ago,which was Edo era in Japan.
Japanese use aho or baka many times in daily life,don't use unpontan even though it's the same meaning.
So they would think cool if you can use this old word instead of aho or baka!

She Says:
Good Lord, do we really need another word for fool? It amazes me how almost all insults in Japanese get translated as "fool", when it's just not so common in America. Stronger words in Japanese tend to sound ridiculous when you actually translate them (See hetare.).
Anyway, He says that because of the obscurity, you'll end up looking cool. I'm not so convinced of this. I mean, I think that many English speakers have at times encountered a foreigner who uses out-of-date slang. It doesn't make them cool. We're more likely to laugh AT them. Maybe Japanese people are different though...

Hey Baldy！（はげ）

He Says:
hage　（はげ）=bald

So many japanese men use this word casually. and they also use this word to the people who isn't bald,like a just short-cropped hair people.
And when jp men are angry, they sometimes just insult "hage" to everyone who isn't bald too.
So this word hage is used to insult people.
And bald hair guy tend to be called hage as his nickname..

Variation:
hage atama-bald head
hage oyaji-bald daddy
hage jyousi-bald boss
hage chabin-bald guy like a teapot

She Says:
"Bald" doesn't tend to be too much of an insult in English. I mean, it's not exactly a good thing to be bald...but it's not exactly the worst thing in the world either. It seems to be a much bigger insult in Japanese. He runs a similar blog in Japanese (called Dirty English) and was recently pressing me about the word bald. It was hard to explain that it wasn't a huge insult here.
One thing this word does illustrate though...is how mean Japanese guys can be in their teasing of each other. I mean, here you have a word that's a pretty big insult, yet it's also a common nickname?!?! You wouldn't even believe me if I told you some of the things you'd see guys do to each other on TV. It's just wrong.
Hage chabin is kind of funny though. I wonder if that means "short and stout" also...

The next word is...うんぽんたん。

Happy Trails to You....（ギャランドゥ）

He Says:
gallandoo　（ギャランドゥ）=happytrail
There is no word for happytrail in Japanese. But among young japanese, sometimes they like to use gallandoo as happytrail.
Originally,the word gallando was the title of a song,"Gallando". When the composer made the song,he just muttered the word to make the melody.
Then the meaningless word gallando became the song title.
But we could see the japanese singer had so much happytrail when he was singing.
Since then many people have used the word just as a happytrail.
So this word is a slang, we can't see it in a japanese dictionary.
If you use the word to those who have happy trail, japanese people will laugh so much.

She Says:
This is so weird I don't even have any comments.

The next word is...はげ。

Lost in Translation （へたれ）

He Says:
Hetare　（へたれ）=coward
Hetare originaly means a farter("he" is a fart,"tare" is ~er.)
But usually Japanese use hetare when the person can't do or hesitates to do such an easy thing.
Espacially young people love to use the word.
It's from Osaka, but now so many people in Japan use the word casually.
This word hetare is comparatively a powerful word, because japanese language doesn't have many dirty words. So if you say it to someone,they would be hurt easier.
For example in a test of your courage in a haunted house with japanese friends, if you are scared so much,you would be said hetare.
But I might be a hetare, because I was so scared my wife's big fart in the silence...

She Says:
Strong words indeed...but can you keep a straight face knowing that you're calling someone a "farter"? I didn't think so...

The next word is...ギャランドゥ。

Like an Old Man Collecting Barbie （きもい）

He Says:
kimoi　（きもい）=disgusting
Young japanese love to use this word to disgusting people or things.
Originally kimoi was got shorted of KImochiwaruI(=disgusting).
Young japanese love to get shorter a word,
like kimutaku=KIMUra TAKUya(japanese famous celebrity name),
pasokon=PErsonal COMputer,
kombini=CONVENIence store.
So young japanese would use kimoi, like when a old guy collects so many barbie dolls or something.
Variations:
Kimo!
Kimo~!
Kimoi!
Kimochi warui!
(all with a frown face,like ugh,blech face)

She Says:
I think that a proper breakdown of how the meaning of the word will help you get a better sense of when you should use it. Kimochii means "feeling" and warui means "bad". So literally this means "bad feeling" and it's generally used when something sort of skeeves you out on the inside...like a toenail that's about to fall off.

The next word is...へたれ。

An Insult in Any Language （まめちん）

He Says:
mame chin　（まめちん）=tiny penis
There is a penis song in which Caneron Diaz and the others sing.
Then they go "Your penis is so big~!!Your penis is too big to fit in here~~!!".
This time,"mame chin" is completely opposite meaning.
Mame means a bean. So it's so small,tiny. If they sang it,like
"Your penis is too small to fit in here~!!".
They say japanese penis are smaller than Americans' in average. Jp guys' penis are said about 5 inches or less.
But mame chin is about 1 inch,like baby size.
If your japanese boyfriend's one were mame chin, please do not say so to your love.
He would be so much hurt by the word from you.
But it would be the best word as a parting shot,"Mame chin!!"

She Says:
I've done extensive research (heh heh) on the myth of the small Japanese penis and I've found it to be wholly untrue. In fact, I would have to say that three out of the five biggest penises I have ever seen in my life have been attached to Japanese men.
Nonetheless, you'll find that Japanese men are totally self-conscious about their size, even if it's normal-sized or huge. And you'll always hear the foreign guys in Japan going on and on about how their Japanese girlfriend said that their dick was SO MUCH BIGGER than Japanese guys' dicks and how they've seen Japanese guys naked in the onsen and can verify that their dicks are small. Well, I've got two little secrets for you:
1. Your girlfriend is bending the truth because she knows it's what you want to hear.
2. Some are show-ers, some are grow-ers dude. And unless you've seen those penises hard, you've got no idea what you're talking about.
I think that telling a guy he's got a small dick is probably a universal insult. Now you know how to do it in Japanese.

This next word is...きもい。

Most Awesome Japanese Use of a Foreign Word （バーコード）

He Says:
bar code/baa koodo　（バーコード）=thin hair like a bar code

Many 50' or 60's years old people have a thin hair like a bar code.
Then subordinates use the word to complain like that stupid bar code boss!
Usually bar code old people's head is a bald head,and looks oily,you know.
So especially many young japanese girls hate bar code guys' looks.
But in a TV show,a japanese girl had to lick a old guy's bar code head.
Then she cried so much,was held down not to escape,and finally,
her face touched the oily bar code head fully.
It was so ugly moment..
That'll be funny if we scan the bar code head,a casher says 99cents or something!

She Says:
Hilarious. This is what we'd call a comb-over. But bar code is such a funny word for it.
There are many foreign words than get incorporated into the Japanese vocabulary and Japan-ized. That's why you wouldn't really pronounce the "r" in bar when you said this.
Usually though, the word just means what it means. This is one of the first words that I came in contact with that had an alternate meaning. And it's a great one!

The next word will be...まめちん。

Instant Coolness in Japanese （なんで やねん）

He Says:
nande yanen!　（なんで　やねん）=Why!
Originally, naze?= why?.
nande yanen is Osakan one, so it's a dirtier or more curt way. But many japanese comedians are from Osaka, and they love to use nande yanen,so it sounds fun for many people.
For example,when you buy a few foods in a grocery store, if the casher says total is "$1 million", you can say nande yanen!.
That sounds funny, because jp comedians use the word for punchline of a joke.
Then many people laugh.
You can definitely get laugh in japan when you say this word, but softly please.If you say it loudly,they feel you are just so angry.
Variations:
dirtiest-nande jya!
dirtier-nande yanen!
normal-nande?
polite-naze? or dousite?

She Says:
I think that this is an example of Japanese humor not translating into English well. For an American, the funny part about the example He used would be that the total was "$1 million" for just a few things. However, in Japan, the funny part is that the comedian responds to this by saying "Why??" I don't why. Or should I say "Nande yanen?"
The one thing I do know is that using this word as a foreigner will make you seem "in the know" and will make Japanese people laugh.
This word is usually said in a moment of incredulousness and in a somewhat whiney voice.

The next word is...バーコード。

A Little Cool （いけてる）

He Says:
iketeru!　（いけてる）=cool!
It's not a dirty word, but slang. We use "cool" many times, in jp, cool is "iketeru",or "kakkoii". So, since it's a slang, only young people use iketeru.
Japanese girl like to use iketeru. If people say iketeru to you, you are cool, but if they say kakkoii to you,you are really really cool regarding your character,sense of humor,and everything about you.

She Says:
Iketeru literally translates to "going to be able to go". I think it's hard to differentiate between various levels of cool and find an appropriate translation. However, I think this one could be translated as "got it going on".
For the record, He mentioned the word "kakkoii" as also meaning "cool". Kakkoii, however is also used by older people. Iketeru is for young people.

The next word is ...なんでやねん。

Farting Bug （へこきむし）

He Says:
hekoki mushi　（へこきむし）=fart monster
Sometimes can't you stop farting?
I don't know why, but some people fart constantly.
Maybe,I think I fart a lot accidentaly after eating a garlic food a lot.
By the way,when I had a party with my japanese ex-girlfriend, I did a tremendous fart in front of my friends to make them laugh. They laughed so much, but later, she cried in private so much.
She couldn't believe I farted in front of people, couldn't stand it.
It made a deep crack between us so long. Even though they were our friends.
Especially most of japanese girl are so shy, and tend to think a fart is a taboo. So there are many japanese wives who can't still fart in front of their husband.
My wife does it like a greeting to me everyday,every night though.
Like the answer by fart instead of saying yes when I ask something.

She Says:
What can I say to that except that his farts are not accidental!
Hekoki mushi literally translates to "farting bug" which is pretty cute.

The next word is...いけてる。

The Sound of Vomit （げろ）

He Says:
gero　（げろ）=(vomit)
Osakan people sometimes just say "ge" for that. Usually Japanese people are weaker about alcohol than Americans, so their faces turn to red easily with a few glass of alcohol, and if you insist them to drink more, they would vomit easily. So in a bar in Japan, sometimes there is a spot to vomit in the rest room for such drunks. Especially Friday or Saturday night's rest room in bar is dangerous for vomit in Japan. I used to see jp guys sleeping facing the vomitting spot.
Japanese people are usually soft-hearted, so they are hard to say no. If you ask japanese people to drink more, most of them would drink more than their limit, and they vomit...it's gero!So be careful when you drink with japanese, and ask them their limit first, otherwise you would have to carry them home!

She Says:
Ew. I don't think I've ever seen a special vomiting place in a girl's bathroom.
I suppose I'm pretty lucky that none of my friends have ever gotten this drunk.

The next word is...へこきむし。

Keep reading and you'll become this...（げす）

He Says:
gesu　（げす）=vulgar
And also means "mean". It's effective to say this when the people is so mean.

She Says:
Not so dirty of a word, but if you become a regular reader of our site, this is what your friends will start calling you, so it's one you should probably remember.

The next word is...げろ。

Ew（ちんかす）

He Says:
chin-kasu　（ちんかす）=sperm dreg
This is applied way of kasu.
So it's good to use this to men, who seems to be young.

She Says:
"Chin" means "dick" and "kasu" means scum. So looks like we've got "dick scum" or maybe we should say "dick crust". That seems more accurate. Generally used to insult younger men (e.g. 20s or younger).

The next word will be...げす。

They say it's really bad... （かす）

He Says:
kasu　（かす）=dreg,scum
This is a very dirty word to insult someone. Because it's dreg!
You can combine this words with other dirty words to be dirtier. It's like a punch,hook,uppercut!
So maybe Japanese girls will cry or end the relationship with you to be said this dirtiest word!

She Says:
Kasu comes from the scum that floats to the top when making sake or tofu. It's gross and unnecessary. Now, of course, people would use it as an insult, towards someone they think is beneath them. I'd translate this more as scum than dreg. We don't use the word dreg so much.

The next word is...ちんかす。

Sometimes Japanese is Surprisly Descriptive （あほげ）

He Says:
ahoge　（あほげ）=stray hair
If you have a stray hair, you can say "ahoge hakken!"(I discovered a stray hair!)
Your japanese friends will burst into laughing you used the dirty & funny word.

She Says:
Not so dirty, I suppose, but definitely funny and a way to expand your use of the word "aho". I'm pretty sure that this word is actually a better word in Japanese than it is in English. "Aho" is "fool" and "ge" is "hair, so that makes this literally "foolish hair".
Men especially can use this word if they've missed a spot shaving.

The next word is...かす。

Guys Take Note--Kinky Sex Here （ふうぞく）

He Says:
hu-zoku　（ふうぞく）=play spot,adult entertainment establishment.
Hu-zoku literally means manners or public morals, but now a days nobody in japan uses it for the original meanings, just for play spot.
I believe Japan's play spot industry is the best in the world. They supply so many various way to fulfill men's desire to girls and sexual desire. So perverted adult play spots are so popular amoung jp men. They love to go to the play spots to enjoy perverted time.
For example,the play spots have a car train room,then they can touch girls' butt, pretending he didn't touch in fake crowded train.
Or spots have hospital room, and they can fuck the nurse, tearing her pantyhose. The nurse wears a indecent panty underneath the nurse's white clothes.etc etc.
Japan is heaven of play spot in the world!
Some jp men are masochist, they love to be whipped by a queen who wears a butterfly glasses, black or red bondage costume and candles. They love to enjoy the imagination world to fulfill their abnormal desire.

She Says:
Girls get shafted here. Hu-zoku is only for guys. It costs about $150 and you can satisfy whatever perverted desire you have.
The closest thing that girls have in Japan are host clubs, where you can go and spend a (non-sexual) time with good looking men (Hostess clubs also exist for men). That'll cost you about $1000 a night. Eek! And if you have a favorite host, you have to buy him really expensive presents. Totally sucks.

This next word is...あほげ。

Hiro Says

He Says:
yabai（やばい）=big trouble,shoot,

In the TV show,Heroes,the popular Japanese character Hiro uses "yabai!" many times. When we get in a trouble,we say the word. Since he uses this word many times, it's like he lives in big trouble life everyday. haha.

I remember in the movie "Back to the future",the main character Marty used to said like "This is heavy." It means almost the same. So This is yabai.

And yabai is used mostly by young people.Elderly don't say yabai.

This word isn't so much dirty,but young japanese uses in so many times,even not so big trouble, like "Yabai!I want to rent a porn video,but the clerk is girl!" etc.

A cool way is also to use this word in the daily life of not so big trouble.

Variation:

chou yabai!=super big trouble

maji yabai!=really big trouble

yabe!=shoot!

Perverted or just kinky? （へんたい）

He Says:
hentai　（へんたい）=pervert,abnormal
Many Japanese men have a perverted desire that can't be fulfilled in daily life.Some of them like to eat shit, fuck infants, drink girl's pee etc.
You can say hentai to people you don't like. It can hurt the people easily.
But if they are real hentai,they will smile.

She Says:
Like He said, if a person is a real hentai, they will smile and be proud of it. "Pervert" has negative connotations and not so many people are proud to be perverts.
So, if you're using hentai as an insult, you'd translate it as "pervert".
However, I think that in cases where it's something that someone's proud of, or when you're simply teasing your friends, I think that a more appropriate translation is "kinky".

The next word is...ふぞく。

Sunday Funny Japanese Video

I don't know why, but I really wanted to post this this weekend. I tried to get Him to write something about it, but He's been busy with other things.
This video clip comes from His favorite show "Downtown". It's a comedy show and what's going on in this one is that they are in a library. Everyone draws cards and one person gets stuck with the X. That person then has something bad happen to them. They are not allowed to make any noise or laugh (because they are in a library).
While in general I don't especially like Japanese TV (I'll explain why in another post), this funny Japanese video does actually crack me up.

How about one more you fool? （ぼけなす）

He Says:
bokenasu　（ぼけなす）=idiot
Boke is fool, nasu is egg plant.
Especially used in Osaka. So they would be insult as fool and egg plant which is hard to understand...it's like a double punch.

She Says:
"You are one stupid eggplant."
"Back off, foolish eggplant!"
"Shut the fuck up you dumb eggplant!"
I think this is a word that definitely loses something in translation. I'm not convinced that any foreigner could pull this one off with the type of intensity needed to properly throw this insult. I mean, you could say it all angry-like...but then wouldn't you start to giggle when you thought about what it meant?

The next word is...へんたい。

Could there be more words for "fool"?(ばか)

He Says:
baka　（ばか）=fool
This means also fool, but it's more polite way to say fool than aho or boke.
Because baka is used by Tokyo people(East Japan), who speak standard and polite Japanese.
And Japanese women tend to use this word to say fool.
So, here is a sign...when a girl says baka quietly to you with smile, she may like you, isn't angry so much, just feels comfortable being with you.

She Says:
Great. Another way to say "fool". I'm not sure why this is such a popular insult in Japan. Again, this is another well known "bad Japanese word", but it's not so bad that you wouldn't hear children say it.
But let me tell you a story about "baka". Long before I met my husband, I went out with this guy a couple of times. He didn't really speak much English and I didn't speak much Japanese. The first time we went out, his friend was there to translate. The second time, the friend wasn't there. I thought I'd give it a try. Bad move. Anyway, we were hanging out with his friends, another couple. Suddenly, completely out of nowhere, the guy I was with started punching the other girl. I mean, really punching her. What the hell, right?
Can you imagine what I wanted to call him and how frustrating it was that "baka" was the only insult word I knew at the time?

The next word will be...ぼけなす.

Another Japanese Fool （ぼけ）

He Says:
boke　（ぼけ）=fool
It's almost same meaning with aho (yesterday's dirty word), but boke is dirtier and more impact word than aho.
So saying only boke is already so powerful to hurt in itself.
Basically, boke means dementia.
Used in mostly west Japan(Osaka,Kyoto,Kobe etc), so it'll more impact to use to Tokyo people(East Japan).

She Says:
Boke is an angry word. You don't really say it in jest. Boke literally means "senility". It can really hurt someone if you say it, so don't say it to the people you love. Again, this ones gets translated as "fool", but I would say that a more accurate translation to English would be like calling someone a "retard".

The next word is...ばか。

A Japanese Fool （あほ）

He Says:
aho　（あほ）=fool
Accent is aho. We can use aho to abuse, run the person down.
Aho is used in mostly west Japan (Osaka,Kyoto,Kobe etc).
So it'll more impact to use to Tokyo people(East Japan).

She Says:
Like He said, aho is used mostly in Western Japan, which makes this term "cooler". Essentially it's an insult, but when said among friends, it's more playful teasing. For example, if someone tripped and fell over their own feet, you might call them an aho. But you might also call the guy who cheated on you an aho. (Note that this is not a very strong/angry word. If you were really angry at someone, you'd use other words. Of course, this all depends on the tone and I think you'll know if someone is angry and calling you an aho vs. when you've done something stupid.) Although it gets translated as "fool", that's not really a word that's normal to use in English...I'd translate it more as "jackass" or "dumbass".

The next word will be...ぼけ。

Your First Dirty Japanese Word (くそ)

He says:
kuso　（くそ）=shit
You can say kuso!(くそ), kusso-（くっそー） too.
Basically kuso means poo, feces, but like English way, Japanese "kuso" is used in when we are angry, shout in an unexpected bad situation as well.

She says:
Kuso is the first dirty Japanese word anyone will teach you, so it's appropriately where we're starting. It's often used like "Shit!" or "Dammit!"--as some sort of exclamation. He claims that you can also use it to say something like "I've got to take a shit." but I've never heard him say it like that.
Interestingly, while "kuso" is often treated like it's a bad word, it's not quite as bad as people make it out to be. In certain situations, it's not at all inappropriate to hear young children saying it. My 2 year old students would occasionally say this word. How?

• hana-kuso (はなくそ)--booger (literally "nose-shit")
  
• me-kuso （めくそ）--eye booger (literally "eye-shit")
  
• mimi-kuso (みみくそ)--ear wax (literally "ear-shit")
  

These are all common words and it's the right way to say them. So it's not like a child would get in trouble for saying "kuso" in these situations, the way that an American child would get in trouble if they said "shit".

The next word will be...あほ。

Welcome to Dirty Japanese

He Says:
Welcome dirty world of Japanese language!
There are so many hot and dirty Japanese words, shown with the meaning, and some comments, and many variations.
Dirtiest expression will hurt japanese easily, but it can be so cool if you know jp people know.
We Japanese husband and american wife who are a pervert couple present these to you.
There are some dialects in Japan as well, dirtiest one is Osaka(West Japan) one. So we introduce some of them. And it's also so cool to say them to Tokyo people(East Japan).
We are NOT responsible at all you get in trouble using words. Because these words are so dirty, and so impact, make Japanese feel so bad!

She Says:
Welcome! I'm not as convinced as He is that "there are so many hot and dirty Japanese words." After all, I still haven't been able to get anyone to tell me how to say "cock-sucking motherfucker". The words simply don't exist.
However, having lived in Japan for three years, I can understand the desire to want to say things that are unexpected in Japanese. It's fun! Japanese people don't expect you to speak Japanese at all, much less know these kinds of words.
He gives you a warning about using these types of words. In fact, everyone who teaches you the "bad Japanese words" will give you a similar warning. It's as if they're afraid that they'll get in trouble for teaching a foreigner anything that's a little bit "dark" about Japan.
But, I trust that you'll have the good sense not to use these words in front of your future mother-in-law. Aside from that, anyone else is fair game. It's my experience that if you use dirty Japanese language, most people will simply laugh uproariously at the funny foreigner using bad words. If anyone's ever offended, simply pretend that you thought you were saying something else like, "The cherry blossoms are so pretty in the springtime, but their beauty is so fleeting. I suppose such is life."